Yesterday as I sat and stared at our baby, who is looking less and less babyish everyday, I felt as if my emotions were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum…one side is unbridled enthusiasm and excitement for him and the other is a sense of longing and sadness at the realization that time goes by so quickly and I can’t slow it down. We spent the evening with our dear friends Jonathan and Amber and their 3 week old little girl, Ava. She was so sweet and tiny, which stood in stark contrast to our 19lb wiggle worm. As Ava peacefully and quietly slept wrapped in her sweet little blanket, Hank was rolling all over the floor, grasping for his next item to destroy, and squealing at the top of his lungs. It was in that moment that a sudden rush of those two completely different emotions swept over me.
But, if I am really honest, these feelings had been sneaking up on me all day. Our morning began with me, realizing that overnight Hank had become less like a baby and more like a child. It was the first morning that I could no longer leave my precious little baby all sleepy and snuggled in our bed while I made his morning bottle and breakfast. He is no longer a sleepy and snuggly little baby in the morning, but now seizes every waking moment to roll and scoot around/off of anything. I am certain that leaving him on our bed would result in a face-plant to the floor about 2 seconds after I walked away! Then, as we began our day of shopping, I strapped him into his “Big Boy” Britax Car seat that Nana bought him last week. He no longer fits into his baby carrier car seat and was in dire need of a bigger one. In fact he is exactly 2 lbs away from the maximum weight limit and his little feet hung so far over the end of the seat that I was constantly banging them on the back seat of the car trying to belt him in. So we upgraded to an official Big kid car seat that is not removable but stays put in the car at all times. He actually loves it! We had become accustomed to a screaming protest every time we strapped him into his baby carrier, but in his new seat, he doesn’t even put up a fight. He sits up straight and looks very proud of himself and usually finds a great deal of entertainment out of straining to kick the back seat of the car. As we made it to our destination, Lonnie Young Shoe Store in Green Hills, I walked up the steps holding my boy and remembering all the times I walked those same steps as a little girl, excited to get my feet measured and pick out my new shoes. And, Hank got the very same treatment! An older gentleman, that I am positive worked there even when I was a child, greeted us, scooped Hank up, and very precisely measured both his feet then gave him a little tickle for good measure(again, I have memories of him doing the very same thing to me). I watched in awe as my baby got his very first pair of real shoes! A seemingly unnecessary purchase because he is not walking at the moment, but he wants so badly to stand at every possible opportunity. No longer content to be held or sit in my lap, he wants to stand and bounce on counters, couches, laps, chairs, the ground, and really any other place you can think of. After ruining several pairs of socks to sticky substances and dirty floors, we decided that shoes might be a good investment. After the sizing, Hank and I choose a pair of navy blue PediPeds. They come very highly recommended by Aunt Alison and Norah and they are so cute and very grown up looking! We said goodbye to the very nice gentleman and headed off to our other errands, Hank displaying his new kicks for all to see! We then searched high and low for an outfit for his baby dedication at church that will take place in two weeks. And to my great dismay, he has officially outgrown all of the sweet baby clothing I was picking out. One of the stores didn’t even carry clothing in his size, and the lady explained that they cater more to infants…to which I replied, “He is an infant!” In other stores, I choose a few very sweet little outfits, only to get home and realize that a 19lb boy looks totally ridiculous in a one-piece sweater getup. He really did look like a child stuffed into baby clothes. So, I think I am resolving to put him in jeans and a sweater, even for special occasions, but he looks cutest like that anyway! So, baby clothes are no longer an option!
So, now as we are beginning another day, and Hank looks even more grown up still, I guess I will continue to feel pulled in opposite directions! I realized that all of the seasoned mothers out there are smirking and thinking to themselves, “You have no idea! This is just the beginning!” And I think I agree, this is a beginning for us, and maybe this is even my official induction into parenthood!
And here are some cute pictures of Hanks new shoes… (of course!)
I think he likes them even more than I do!
The nurse said she was so sad to make such a beautiful baby cry! He did cry, scream in fact, but as soon as it was all over, he was flirting with all the pretty ladies in no time! 
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